>> every tantrum is not bratty behavior, there's meltdowns which is what you described, exhausted, the nap, melting down. >> or hunger. >> or the manipulative tantrum, i'm not getting my way. >> in that situation, you don't want to give it attention. you want to as calmly as you can, abandon the grocery cart. get the child out to the car, let him have his tantrum. >> they can be kicking and screaming. >> you have to stay calm. the more attention you give to that behavior. it reinforce it is and you're it reinforces it and you're likelike likely to see it again. >> we reinforce the wrong behavior if we give in to the tantrum, we reinforcing the negative behavior. if we take a breathe and deal with our own embarrassment, scoop them out, the second they kind of take that breath and start to change, you want to say, all right, great, we're done. let's move on and you want to reinforce the good stuff. >> do you want to give them ice cream at that point because they're being good? >> no, you don't. but that's what we tend to do.